Also known as psychological or mental abuse. It includes non-physical behaviours that are meant to control or frighten. These could be threats to hurt or kill you, themselves or others, insults, constant monitoring, excessive jealousy, manipulation, humiliation, intimidation, and dismissiveness, among others. Sometimes it can be more obvious and include verbal abuse like shouting and name calling. It may include weaponising the children/trying to turn the kids against you.
What does emotional abuse look like?
“I don’t want you going out with them. I trust you; I just don’t trust them.”
“You know you can’t get anyone better than me. You are lucky to be with me. Sure no one else would want you”
“Are you sure you want to eat that? I’m just attracted to someone who takes care of themselves.”
“You’re not going out in that, you think you look good but trust me you don’t.”
“You’re so dumb. I knew this would be over your head.”
“You’re the problem. Things are only bad because of you. Everything is fine when you’re not around.”
Physical abuse, in the context of domestic violence, is any intentional act causing injury or trauma to another person or animal by way of bodily contact. You might be hurt in ways that cannot be seen. It is important to take physical abuse very seriously. It can get worse over time and in severe cases can result in death.
What does physical abuse look like?
Pushing, shoving, head butting
Hair pulling, spitting in your face
Beating, punching, cutting with hands or an object
Strangling
Harming other family members and/or pets
A persistent pattern of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour which may include all or some forms of domestic abuse. It may include gaslighting, making you feel stupid, doubting yourself & questioning what you know to be true. It may include restricting your movements through finances or absent parenting/childcare. It traps you in the relationship, making it very difficult or even dangerous to leave.
What does coercive control look like?
Monitoring your movements or online activity – installing a tracker on your car, spyware on your devices, cameras in the house.
Making the decisions about everyday life – your food, whether you can go to the doctor, or fill a prescription, what you can wear, when you sleep.
Enforcing rules or conditions that are humiliating like taking your belongings and making you beg on your knees to have them returned.
Threats to expose private or intimate details about you, like photos or videos.
Sexual abuse from a partner or ex can be hard to talk about. You might have agreed to have sexual contact with someone in the past but that does not mean they have a right to touch you whenever they please.
What does sexual abuse look like?
Pressurising you into having sex or performing sexual acts or makes you feel guilty/ignores you if you say you don’t want to have sex
Hurts you with objects during sex or involves other people without your consent.
Forces you to watch, re-enact or participate in the making of pornography.
Shares, or threatens to share, intimate images of you without your consent.
Financial abuse can be where a partner keeps you financially dependent on him.
What does financial abuse look like?
Denies you access to the family finances to pay for food, bills and medication
Denies you access to joint bank accounts and financial information
Pressures you to give them large sums of money or gets you into debt
Forbids you to work, or tells you how often you can work, and demands that you handover any earnings
Refuses to pay child maintenance
Digital abuse is when someone monitors, stalks, harasses, threatens, controls or impersonates another person using technology.
What does digital abuse look like?
Sends you abusive messages by text, email, phone call and social media
Sends you explicit and violent images and videos
Monitors your internet use
Insists that you give them your passwords to your email or your social media accounts
Subjects you to image-based sexual abuse by secretly recording you, sharing or threatening to share, intimate images of you without consent
Blackmailing you into sending intimate images
Uses technology to track your movements and activities
